Traffic Is Today’s Crack Cocaine, You’re A Crackhead, And Google Is Your Server

Crack Cocaine
(image source)

So what do I know about Crack Cocaine? Not too much. Until few minutes ago I didn’t know these terms either but quick visit to the “server” and I learned the lingo pretty quickly.

So let’s examine this notion a little further. Following questions and information is from the United States Department of Justice, National Drug Intelligence Center.

What Is Crack Cocaine?

Crack cocaine is a highly addictive and powerful stimulant that is derived from powdered cocaine using a simple conversion process. Crack emerged as a drug of abuse in the mid-1980s. It is abused because it produces an immediate high and because it is easy and inexpensive to produce–rendering it readily available and affordable.

Google:
1. Highly Addictive -> you cannot run your business without traffic.
2. Powerful stimulant -> Potent traffic provides better conversions
3. Immediate High -> Check your stats!
4. Inexpensive to produce -> Couple of programmers in a basement and you have an algorithm.

How is it produced?

Crack is produced by dissolving powdered cocaine in a mixture of water and ammonia or sodium bicarbonate (baking soda). The mixture is boiled until a solid substance forms. The solid is removed from the liquid, dried, and then broken into the chunks (rocks) that are sold as crack cocaine.

Google:
1. Cocaine+Water+Baking Soda -> In Google’s case, organic results, affiliates, buzz
2. Boiled until solid substance forms -> Google users use organic results until they are ready to purchase
3. Chunks -> Adwords inventory
4. Sold -> Adwords clicks

What does it look like?

Crack typically is available as rocks. Crack rocks are white (or off-white) and vary in size and shape.

Google:
1. Rocks vary in size and shape -> Adwords boxes, sponsor listings, banners, etc

How is crack abused?

Crack is nearly always smoked. Smoking crack cocaine delivers large quantities of the drug to the lungs, producing an immediate and intense euphoric effect.

Google:
1. Nearly always smoked -> Log on to your Adwords account
2. Large quantities of the drug -> Google keyword inventory
3. Immediate and intense effect -> Sales conversions

Who uses crack?

Individuals of all ages use crack cocaine–data reported in the National Household Survey on Drug Abuse indicate that an estimated 6,222,000 U.S. residents aged 12 and older used crack at least once in their lifetime. The survey also revealed that hundreds of thousands of teenagers and young adults use crack cocaine–150,000 individuals aged 12 to 17 and 1,003,000 individuals aged 18 to 25 used the drug at least once.

Crack cocaine use among high school students is a particular problem. Nearly 4 percent of high school seniors in the United States used the drug at least once in their lifetime, and more than 1 percent used the drug in the past month, according to the University of Michigan’s Monitoring the Future Survey.

Google:
1. Individual of all ages -> Individual of all ages
2. 12-17 and 18-25 age groups at least once -> Business owners
3. High school students -> Web professionals

What are the risks?

Cocaine, in any form, is a powerfully addictive drug, and addiction seems to develop more quickly when the drug is smoked–as crack is–than snorted–as powdered cocaine typically is.

In addition to the usual risks associated with cocaine use (constricted blood vessels; increased temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure; and risk of cardiac arrest and seizure), crack users may experience acute respiratory problems, including coughing, shortness of breath, and lung trauma and bleeding. Crack cocaine smoking also can cause aggressive and paranoid behavior.

Google:
1. Addictive -> Addictive
2. Quick addiction -> Organic results
3. Various health risks due to use -> Various health risks due to reduced revenues/margins, late payments.
4. Aggressive/Paranoid behavior -> WHO? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT THE @#$ ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? JERK!

What is it called?

crack lingo

Google:
google slang
(Click image to enlarge)
(Source)

Is crack cocaine illegal?

Yes, crack cocaine is illegal. Crack cocaine is a Schedule II substance under the Controlled Substances Act. Schedule II drugs, which include PCP and methamphetamine, have a high potential for abuse. Abuse of these drugs may lead to severe psychological or physical dependence.

Google:
Illegal -> Not yet but at this rate..
Abuse may lead to psychological issues -> Do you know of any sane webmasters? Exactly!

5 Responses to “Traffic Is Today’s Crack Cocaine, You’re A Crackhead, And Google Is Your Server”


  1. 1 j

    LMAO

    Great Post…

    Here is a new coin… DomainCracker.com

  2. 2 marshal sandler

    Excellent post ! AS a man of good taste I am giving you an a on this post, as has Google, you have, mastered math, semantic’s ,and general semantics !

  3. 3 SDouglas

    Sahar, I met you only once when I was the executive producer of the Domain Roundtable Conference 2007, and it was outside the bowling alley party hosted by NI on Tuesday Aug 14 2007 in Seattle. My beautiful and angelic wife, Denise, had just told me how nice a guy you were, and she posed with you as you were standing there with other great guys, Ammar Kubba (trafficz.com) and Dan Kimball (DNzoom). I got the pic with you and your arm around my wife. You’re the only man who has been able to touch my wife like this without being killed by me. LOL. (ahem) I’d like to send you that photo, you’ll love it. Email me at successclick@gmail.com and I’ll send you some other cool photos of you at the event.

    Anyway, my point I wanted to make is:

    This post by you is so poetically revolutionary that it should stand as a marker for all domainers to understand what it’s like to invest everything you have in domains, like I and thousands of others have done. Your article is one of the most brilliant pieces of text I’ve read in my five years of domain industry business.

    I hope I get to meet you again and shake your hand. I’m truly impressed. Keep up the good work.

    Stephen Douglas
    BLOG: http://www.Successclick.com

    —-answer—-

    Hi Stephen, and thanks so much for the kind words!
    email on the way.
    Cheers
    Sahar

  4. 4 DomainerPro

    The analogy is a little far-fetched and perhaps made in jest, but your point is well taken. So many webmasters are reliant on (addicted to) a single source of revenue. Even if it were to start hurting their business, they can’t kick the habit because it’s all they’ve got going. I’ve been working on diverting my domain traffic to many different revenue channels, including affiliate programs, blogs with multiple modes of monetization, and product sales sites. I’d like to get to a point where Adsense income is not more than 25% of my total income. But I’m still a long ways off.

  1. 1 Apple-For -My-Eye » Blog Archive » Traffic Is Today's Crack Cocaine, You're A Crackhead, And Google Is Your Server at Conceptualist.com, By Sahar Sarid

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